Section 10 Entry 0001. Date: 2004 September 17 Friday.
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The progress of my disease was this: first, I had little spurts of superheated blood coming out of my nose. Then, instead of blood, I began to output water. Superheated water. Mostly from my mouth, in capricious outjumpings.

The fear being that this was contagious, I was incarcerated in Hell's quarantine hospital. That was back in July. In fact, I've now been a prisoner in the hospital for two solid months.

Today I had a visit from a new doctor, Dr Sawzones, who began to do various tests on me.

"What are you looking for?" I said.

"I'm looking for Sawzones disease," said Dr Sawzones.

"What's that?" I asked.

"I don't know," said Dr Sawzones, with the kind of cheerfulness you so rarely see in Hell. "It hasn't been discovered yet."

"Well, I don't think I'm the place to try looking," I said. "They've done all the tests. There's nothing left to try."

"Nothing?" said Dr Sawzones.

"Nothing," I said, confidently.

Then Dr Sawzones began to thread a length of rusty barbed wire up my left nostril, and I very rapidly began to change my opinion.

I've got to get out of here! Hell as everyday life is bad enough, but Hell as an experimental animal is unendurable.