Plandruk Qinplaqus: ruler of Dalar ken Halvar, aka Silver
Emperor, aka Ulix of the Drum. A gnostic manic-depressive who has
long ruled the Empire of Greater Parengarenga from the palace of
Na Sashimoko. In appearance: a withered Ashdan of great antiquity,
his frail form usually supported by a crooked walking stick, the
handle of which is silver, and is in the shape of a pelican.

                                  * * *

        For Guest Gulkan, arms and legs both shredded by the mauling
strength of the Great Mink, there was no blessed darkness, no
sovereign relief, no surcease of pain. Instead, spearblade agony -
as if repeated jolts of razorblade lightning were being shoved
through his lacerated flesh. He screamed, jolting spasms racking
his body. His world was an incoherence of razors.
        "He is as good as gone," said Lord Onosh, looking down on the
racked and ruined body of his son.
        Then Hostaja Sken-Pitilkin took Lord Onosh by the sleeve, and
drew him to one side.
        "My lord," said Sken-Pitilkin, "there is in Dalar ken Halvar
a power which commands the cure of the flesh. Our good friend Ulix
of the Drum will guarantee that cure if we can but get the boy
Guest to Dalar ken Halvar promptly."
        "How would we do that?" said Lord Onosh.
        "Why," said Sken-Pitilkin, "do but open the Door, and it can
be done in moments. Ulix of the Drum will lead the way, and I will
follow, and Zozimus with me. With but half a dozen men to bear
Guest along, we can shock our way through the Circle before they
realize we are upon them."
        "I would think rather to shock with an army," said Lord
Onosh.
        "Shock, my lord, is a tactical jewel more easily possessed by
the few than by the many," said Sken-Pitilkin. "If we take an
army, thinking to defeat our enemies in war, they will recover
soon enough. But Dalar ken Halvar is friendly territory, if we can
but get there."
        Lord Onosh was so shaken by what had lately happened that he
allowed Sken-Pitilkin to persuade him easily.
        Then Sken-Pitilkin assembled his forces.
        The wizard first thought himself of the witches Bao Gahai and
Zelafona. But both refused their assistance.
        "Forgive me if I am wrong," said Sken-Pitilkin to Bao Gahai,
"but I had thought you tender of the Weaponmaster's life."
        "So I am," said Bao Gahai. "But I am old, Pitilkin. My skin
is but a thin web cast in fragility across my flesh. My bones are
as matchsticks. Such Power as remains to me is scarcely enough to
discipline my dreams. I am entering into my final years, Pitilkin.
Some time ago, I paid a dreadful price to secure a thing I wanted
above all others. Now I am suffering in consequence of that
payment. I would help you if I could, but I am wasted beyond
recovery, and all that remains to me is to survive."
        Seeing that Bao Gahai was sincere in her confession, Sken-
Pitilkin immediately renewed his attack on the witch Zelafona.
        "If I remember rightly," said Sken-Pitilkin, "then I gave
shelter to you and your son when you fled to my sanctuary on the
island of Drum."
        "It is so," conceded Zelafona.
        "In consequence of my hospitality," said Sken-Pitilkin, "I
have angered the Confederation of Wizards, and so have been forced
to flee from my home."
        "I do not deny it," said Zelafona.
        "So," said Sken-Pitilkin, "I believe you are under a moral
obligation to me and mine."
        "I had not thought the life of the Weaponmaster to be of any
consequence to you," said Zelafona.
        "Why so?" said Sken-Pitilkin. "He has been as much my son as
anyone's. Since he was but five years of age, I have counseled
him, tutored him, guided him, raised him. True, he has been
uncommonly abusive of scholarship, and has tortured the grammars
of the foreign tongues in a most dreadful manner, but I'll not
hold this against him. If you will but save Guest Gulkan's life,
then I'll count you free of all obligation to me and mine."
        "How can I save him?" said Zelafona. "Pitilkin, the Banks
will be on guard against us. We cannot hope to storm the Circle as
you think. We can but try, and die trying."
        "We cannot hope to seize the Circle," said Sken-Pitilkin,
"but we can hope to make our way around it. Each Door stands in a
chamber, and we need but force our way through three such
chambers. The first is that of the Monastic Treasury of Inner
Adeer. The second is that of the Flesh Traders Financial
Association of Galsh Ebrek. The third is that of the Bondsmans
Guild of Obooloo. Then we will be in the Bralsh, in Dalar ken
Halvar, and Plandruk Qinplaqus assures us that he will take charge
of things from there."
        Zelafona thought about it, then said:
        "What exactly to you want from me?"
        "I know," said Sken-Pitilkin, "that you have powers to delude
the minds of mine, powers like those of the wizards of Ebber. I
want you to use those powers to seize and hold that chamber in the
Monastic Treasury of Inner Adeer which holds the Door."
        "And," said Zelafona. "And when I am done with holding? How
do I get back to Alozay?"
        "You don't," said Sken-Pitilkin. "You escape from the
Monastic Treasury, not through any Door, but directly into the
city of Voice."
        "You mean that I should banish myself," said Zelafona. "You
mean that I should be parted from my sister and my son."
        "Your son you can take with you," said Sken-Pitilkin. "If he
is willing to play the hero. As for your sister - these are her
final years. She has little time left to live."
        "I will consider," said Zelafona.
        "Guest Gulkan is dying as you consider," said Sken-Pitilkin,
with considerable impatience. "We are driven by the urgency of a
dying man."
        Zelafona again replied that she would consider, whereupon
Sken-Pitilkin hastened to Lord Onosh and explained the problem.
        The Witchlord promptly told Zelafona that she could consider
getting her head cut off, or getting -
        But - enough! There is no need to list here the grim and
barbarous threats which the Witchlord Onosh made to the elegant
dralkosh Zelafona! Suffice it to say that Zelafona was very
swiftly shocked into an acceptance of her fate; and that Glambrax
consented to accompany his mother into exile.
        The wizards Pelagius Zozimus and Ontario Nol consented to
fight at Sken-Pitilkin's side. The force was completed by the
wizard Plandruk Qinplaqus and his servant Thayer Levant.
        "That completes our force," said Sken-Pitilkin, reporting his
readiness to the Witchlord Onosh.
        "But," said Lord Onosh, "you will need men to carry Guest
Gulkan. Rolf Thelemite, for instance."
        "No, my lord," said Sken-Pitilkin. "For if we introduce men
such as Thelemite to the Circle of the Door, what will we do with
them thereafter? I think we will have no recourse but to kill
them. The secret of the Door is too great to be shared amongst
many."
        "Then," said Lord Onosh, "do what you must, and kill the men
if you must! I give you full permission to kill Rolf Thelemite as
and when you wish, since I think him born to be killed!"
        "If I must kill Thelemite then I will," said Sken-Pitilkin.
"But I have no need to do so, therefore I won't. I myself will
levitate the box in which Guest Gulkan lies. Speed is of the
essence, my lord! If we were to shock uncouth fools like Thelemite
with news of the Door, we would lose a whole day to its
explanation, and we have not a day, for Guest will be dead in far
less time than that."
        "Then do as you will," said Lord Onosh. "But do not fail!"
        "If I fail," said Sken-Pitilkin, gravely, "then death will
surely be my fate, for the Bankers will kill me out of hand."
        Then Sken-Pitilkin procured a sandglass of the kind which is
used to time a boiling egg, and said Lord Onosh should open the
Door and keep it open while the sand ran, by which time the shock-
troops would either be in Dalar ken Halvar or be dead.
        "Thereafter," said Sken-Pitilkin, "you will open the Door on
each Midsummer's Day, that we may negotiate with the Banks. It
may take long for us to settle an agreement with the Banks, but
they will yield to us in due course."
        "And, meanwhile," said Lord Onosh. "What of Eljuk?"
        "We cannot help him," said Sken-Pitilkin. "He must suffer his
fate. The only counsel I give you in this respect is this: stay
away from the demon Iva-Italis! The demon gloats on suffering, and
will encourage you to nightmare if you keep its company."
        So the storming party assembled in the abditory in Jezel Obo,
the Sky Stratum, the highest level of the mainrock Pinnacle. Then
the Door was opened, and the shock-assault party stormed through,
and when the sands were run out Lord Onosh closed the Door, and
took the star-globe into his own possession, and retired to his
own chambers to mourn the loss of both his sons, for he counted
the pair of them dead.
        The storming of the shock-force party was done swiftly. From
Alozay went the stormtroopers, bursting into the padded silence of
the Monastic Treasury of Inner Adeer. There the witch Zelafona
took command, numbing the minds of all those who stood guard in
the chamber of the Door. While they were thus numbed, the dwarf
Glambrax efficiently slaughtered them with his axe.
        While this work of mass-murder was in progress, the
stormforce dared through the door to the Flesh Traders Financial
Association of Galsh Ebrek. Here, Ontario Nol conjured the powers
of the winds, slamming Bankers in all directions, breaking them at
will. Thus Guest Gulkan came again to the land of Wen Endex, the
homeland of the Yudonic Knights in the north of Yestron. But he
knew it not, for he had been dosed with opium, and hence he was
"floating on the lotus", as the fragrant Janjuladoola saying has
it.
        Pelagius Zozimus then took control. The wizard of Xluzu,
using his powers as a Necromancer, animated those corpses which
Ontario Nol had so freshly produced, sent those corpses through
the Door, then followed them through that Door into the Bondsmans
Guild of Obooloo.
        There, Zozimus fought a brief but bloody battle, pitching the
dead against the living.
        As the shrieks of horror-struck Bankers fled into the echoing
distance, Sken-Pitilkin sent Guest Gulkan wafting through the Door
into the Bondsmans Guild. Again, Guest Gulkan knew not of his
travels, for he lay in the sweating squalor of sleep, fast-sinking
from lotus to dream. He was dreaming still as they went through
the Door one last time, traveling from Obooloo to the Bralsh.
        The Bralsh was the stronghold of the Good neighbors, the
lords of the insurance industry of Dalar ken Halvar, and it stood
in an area of that city known as Childa Go. The Bralsh was a
literal stronghold, an ominously solid fortification built to
repulse the periodic disorders which saw Dalar ken Halvar ravaged
by riot or by revolution.
        On arrival at the Bralsh, Plandruk Qinplaqus used his powers
as a wizard of Ebber, numbed the minds of the Bankers who stood on
guard there, and maintained his authority as the others came
through the Door.
        Then that Door closed.
        Zelafona, of course, was still in the Monastic Treasury of
Inner Adeer. On mature reflection, Sken-Pitilkin realized that it
would have been possible for her to come through the sundry Doors
with the others, escaping in their company to the Bralsh. Had some
unacknowledged desire for revenge compelled him to send the witch-
woman into solitary exile in Voice?
        Perhaps.
        But what was done was done, and repenting of it would be of
no help to anyone. At least they had escaped through to the city
of Dalar ken Halvar.
        It had been deep night when the stormforce had abstracted
Guest Gulkan from the Witchlord's stronghold on the island of
Alozay. It had been night in the Monastic Treasury of Inner Adeer
when Guest Gulkan had been delivered to the healers waiting in
that Bank. Night had likewise ruled Galsh Ebrek and Obooloo, and
night reigned still on his arrival in Dalar ken Halvar, for all
these places are to be found on the same side of the planet, and
one span of night can encompass them all.
        Know you the meaning of "planet"? A planet is a globe roped
invisibly to the sun, the sun being a metaphorical giant which
whirls this globe around his head at the end of a rope. Such is
the length of the rope that a single circuit of the giant's head
takes a year. This is the lunatic scale to which our reality is
built, from which fact many have concluded that the Gods of
Construction were deranged; and your historian sees no reason to
bicker some dispute with such conclusion.
        So it was by night that the stormforce came forth from the
Bralsh, emerging onto the surface of their planet like ants
exiting from a tiny fissure in the rind of a rotten watermelon.
Bearing Guest Gulkan with them, the stormforce ventured the night
from the Bralsh of the Good neighbors to the halls of the demon-
mountain, Cap Foz Para Lash.
        Through the streets of Childa Go they went; they skirted the
western slopes of Cap Ogo Botch, which hill sustains the ruling
palace of Dalar ken Halvar; and then, avoiding Actus Dorum, the
commercial center of the Silver Emperor's city, they took a back
way between the yawning abyss of the Dead Mouth and the upthrust
fortifications of the Frangoni Rock.
        Thus they went, and arrived at the great gate known as the
lockway, where Plandruk Qinplaqus secured their admission into the
mountain.
        The mountain was ruled by a demon, and the demon commanded a
place which was designed for the refurbishment of the bodies of
those injured in battle. This demon, the genius loci of Cap Foz
Para Lash, went by the name of Paraban Senk. Unlike the demon Iva-
Italis of Safrak and the demon Ko of Chi'ash-lan, Paraban Senk had
no body of green-burning stone, but, rather, was caged invisibly
in some hidden part of the cave-works of Cap Foz Para Lash. That
much is sure, and all are agreed upon it; but of the demon's true
nature it is hard to give a reasoned account.
        Now there are demons and demons, just as there are ghosts and
ghosts - and, for that matter, gods and gods. To know things in
their true categories is hard enough even when we deal with those
mundane entities which breathe the same air as we do, and mate and
breed meet their deaths manner like unto that of men. Is the whale
a fish or is it (as the eccentric opinion of certain naturalists
would have it) a species of cow? Having considered the whale,
consider the woman. Is she like a whale in her milk, a scorpion in
her wit or a day of moody weather in her humors?
        On such questions the greatest intellects have bruised
themselves without securing conclusive resolution, so, since such
difficulties attend such things as simple as the analysis of
organic life, it is only natural that to win a certain knowledge
of things demonic is more problematical yet.
        Hence your historian stakes out no definite position as
regards the nature of the demon known as Paraban Senk, but merely
contents himself with here recording the most peculiar account
which this demon gave of itself. Senk was a man, or had been. Yet
Senk was presently merged with the life of a species of
computational device - that is to say, a kind of self-powered
abacus so monstrous in its complexity that the intricate
shuttlework of its beads could create patterns complex enough to
rival those of a human mind engaged in higher thought.
        What is certain is that Senk was an entity which had survived
from the dark times hidden behind the veils of the Days of Wrath.
When questioned, Senk spoke of worlds linked to worlds and locked
in war; of ships of destruction which could rival thought in their
speed; of living metal which bestrode the field of battle and
demolished cities in its wrath; of peoples devastated by fire and
plague; of planets shattered and of suns burst asunder - and of
Senk's knowledge of pain, and death, and trial by horror, there
seemed to be no ending.
        While a degree of mystery surrounds Paraban Senk's origins,
nature, powers, function and nature, there is no doubt that this
demonic entity wielded much power within the underground fortress
of Cap Foz Para Lash, even though (and here your historian relies
on the testimony of the Ashdan warrior Asodo Hatch, Senk being
mute on the matter) it had no way in which to project such power
beyond the lockway.
        To that lockway, the wounded warrior Guest Gulkan was
conveyed; and there he was placed in the healing room run by the
demon of the mountain, and his cure commenced.
        Then Plandruk Qinplaqus, who had no knowledge of what might
have happened in Dalar ken Halvar since he had been kidnapped by
Banker Sod and imprisoned in a time pod in Alozay's Hall of Time,
set about the business of reinstalling himself in the city which
he had formerly been accustomed to rule as emperor.
        The task Qinplaqus had set himself was potentially difficult,
for, in his absence, there had been a revolution in the city; and
civil disorder had seen all power in Dalar ken Halvar fall to an
Ashdan warrior named Asodo Hatch, who ruled in the name of the
militant religion known as Nu-chala-nuth.
        Yet Hatch proved uncommonly relieved at the abrupt
reappearance of Plandruk Qinplaqus, for the difficulties of ruling
Dalar ken Halvar - and the realms of the Empire of Greater
Parengarenga which were commanded from that city - were of such
complexity and intensity that they almost exceeded Hatch's
abilities.
        So it was that Plandruk Qinplaqus, rightful lord of the
Empire of Parengarenga, returned to his capital city, made an
alliance with the revolutionary leader Asodo Hatch, and
reinstalled himself in the great palace of Na Sashimoko.
        And Guest Gulkan's cure proceeded.
        Guest Gulkan's cure was slow, because to start with he had no
arms or legs to speak of. As his body had been injured, so too had
his mind; and night after night he endured nightmares in which he
lost both arms and legs, in which the Great Mink mauled the hair
from his head while Thodric Jarl swordbooted his cleats into the
blood-gash grin of his face. He dreamt of rivers awash with blood
and head made into pyramids, of floods of roiling eyeballs and
hailstorms of bloodstained teeth, and of hectic voyages on ships
which catapulted themselves skywards then shattered themselves to
toothpicks on the grim-beak heights of mountains.
        Yet as Guest's body began to heal, and as his arms and legs
began their slow regrowth under the subtle tutelage of the demon
of the mountain, his dreams slowly changed; and more and more he
dreamt of women rather than of war.
        In his dreams he imagined Yerzerdayla, her hair flowing
around his ribs, her mouth nourishing his strength, her lips
swallowing pearls, her heat-warmth perfume blossoming around her,
her whispers hot with admiration, and her unlimited delights
matching his ardor.
        Thus Guest began to heal, body and mind; and as time went on
he had long sessions with Hostaja Sken-Pitilkin, who thought this
an excellent opportunity to re-inspire young Guest with a love of
the irregular verbs. Much of their time together was given to
arguing over precisely what animal it was which had mauled Guest
Gulkan in the arena at Chi'ash-lan.
        "It was a bear," said Guest, and he said it not once but
repeatedly.
        "That was no bear," said sagacious Sken-Pitilkin. "That was a
mink."
        "Not so," said Guest. "A mink is a small animal which bites,
and as punishment for its temperament is commonly made into
gloves. Or coats, if the man is fool enough and the woman nags
long enough."
        "There is a Great Mink which is like unto the lesser minks in
its temperament," said Sken-Pitilkin, "and which also bit, just as
it bit you. It was the Great Mink you met, and not any kind of
bear."
        But Guest Gulkan was firmly decided. If one is going to be
mauled, then it is better for one's honor to be mauled by a bear
than a mink, and so in defiance of zoological science he
proclaimed his assailant to have been a bear. Though in truth the
Great Mink of the snows of the Cold West is a bloodier monster
than any bear, for your average bear is bent on grubs and honey,
or has its mind on fish, whereas the Great Mink hunts with deadly
purpose, and will as lief hunt men as any lesser game.
        So Guest Gulkan was a fool to dispute his tutor's wisdom. But
Sken-Pitilkin was not distressed at this folly. Rather, it was a
relief to see the young man coming into possession of some spark
of life.
        When Guest had been some months recovering, he had the first
of his formal audiences with Plandruk Qinplaqus, lord of the
Empire of Greater Parengarenga.
        "Is there anything you need?" said the Lord of the Silver
Pelican.
        "Yes!" said Guest. "To get out of here!"
        "That you will not be doing for some years," said Qinplaqus.
        "Years!" said Guest in dismay.
        "It will take that long for your arms and legs to regrow,"
said Qinplaqus.
        Then Guest was greatly distressed, for he had not realized
that his confinement was to be thus extended.
        In truth, the young Weaponmaster Guest was prodigiously lucky
to have the favor of Plandruk Qinplaqus, and to have the demon of
the mountain of Cap Foz Para Lash dedicated to his cure, for it
was only in that one mountain of Dalar ken Halvar that the arms
and legs of a multiple amputee could possibly be restored to their
strength.
        But Guest was a poor invalid, and became increasingly
importunate and demanding, saying that at least one of his limbs
was still in perfect working order, and hence he should surely -
if it was at all possible, and surely it was - be provided with
some suitable terrain in which that single limb could be
exercised.
        Upon which the venerable Plandruk Qinplaqus indulgently
declared that he would choose out a wife for the boy Guest.
        "A wife!" said Guest in alarm. "I said nothing about getting
married!"
        "But you were talking of a woman, were you not?" said
Plandruk Qinplaqus.
        "Why, yes," said Guest. "But a woman is not a wife, or need
not be. Get me a woman, that's all that I want."
        "Am I a pimp, that I should get you a whore?" said Plandruk
Qinplaqus.
        "As I am the son of an emperor," said Guest warmly, "it
should be an honor for you to pimp for me."
        At which sally, Qinplaqus shook with laughter until his belly
almost burst; for it had been several centuries since the
venerable Ashdan had encountered anyone with Guest's degree of
impudence.
        And after some negotiation it was at last agreed between them
that Qinplaqus would not pimp out a whore for young Guest, since
pimping was beneath the dignity of an emperor; but that Qinplaqus
would diligently quest out a wife for Guest, and (with luck) find
him a woman who would be happy to take him to bed even though his
arms were but buds peeping from stumps.
        A tall order, one might think!
        But Plandruk Qinplaqus was great in power and knowledge, and
knew his people well, and already had a wifely candidate in mind.