Sword and sorcery novel by Hugh Cook. Free fiction free fantasy novel.

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The Witchlord and the Weaponmaster

A novel by Hugh Cook

Chapter Forty-Eight

        Chi'ash-lan: city at western end of Ravlish Lands. This city
was the birthplace of Banker Sod (sometime Governor of the Safrak
Bank) and of Thayer Levant (Guest Gulkan's servant, who previously
served Plandruk Qinplaqus). The Bank in Chi'ash-lan is the Morgrim
Bank. In this Bank is a monster twice man-height. The monster is
of jade green stone, and is known to the world as the demon Ko
(or, to give it the dignity of its full and formal name, as the
demon Koblathakatoria. This demon is not actually a creature of
the world of gods and shadows - rather, it is a machine, a
military farspeaker of Nexus make.

                                                 * * *

        Guest stood on the marble plinth, momentarily uncertain as to
whether it was the real thing or a delusionary illusion. Then he
was abruptly shoved from behind by an unruly Banker who came
pushing through the humming silver screen which filled the arch of
Chi'ash-lan's Door.
        "Time is money!" said the Banker, as Guest went stumbling.
        Then the Banker promptly turned and made his way back through
the Door, pushing on to the Safrak Bank on the island of Alozay.
        Guest realized he truly was in Chi'ash-lan, and that its Door
was in use, and that there was no telling who or what might come
through that Door unless he acted quickly. He jumped down from the
marble plinth. Water squelched in his boots as he landed, for his
boots were still soaking wet from the water in which he had lately
been standing.
        That squelching water assured Guest that at least some small
fraction of his recent experience had been for real. Otherwise, he
might have dismissed the Lobos and its cave as sheer
hallucination.
        He checked. Did he have the yellow bottle? Yes, it was still
tightly tied to his swordless swordbelt with a moligok.
Presumably, Sken-Pitilkin and Thayer Levant were still safe inside
that bottle. And the ring which controlled it was still safe on
Guest's finger.
        Right, then.
        Guest looked for the niche in the plinth of the Door, found
it, and found it occupied by the star-globe, as he had expected.
        He hesitated.
        As soon as he seized the star-globe and pulled it from that
niche, then the Circle of the Doors of the Partnership Banks would
abruptly close. Then Guest would be stuck in Chi'ash-lan, and
would be put to the trouble of fighting his way free from the
Morgrim Bank - if he could. He was sorely tempted to take an
easier course: to abandon the star-globe and simply jump through
the Door, making the passage to the island of Alozay in the
tricing of an eyeblink.
        But -
        But did Lord Onosh still rule on Alozay?
        That was the first question which troubled Guest Gulkan. And
the second was this: what would his father say if he knew that
Guest had been within grasping distance of the star-globe, but had
declined its challenge?
        Guest came to a quick decision.
        He seized the cold cool of the star-globe and snatched it
from its niche. The silver-buzzing hum of the Door died away on an
instant. When Guest rose, the star-globe in his hand, no screen of
shimmering silver remained in the arch. Instead, the arch was but
a loop of metal.
        Now to get out of here.
        Guest hastened toward the exit of the Morgrim Bank's weirding
room. But halted abruptly, for of course the demon Ko stood on
guard in that exit.
        "Ko," said Guest, challenging that monolith of jade-green
stone.
        "I see you and here you," said Ko. "You are welcome, thrice
welcome. You are free to pass - with or without that which you
have won."
        All this was said with immaculate courtesy, and was said
moreover in Guest's native Eparget, which in itself was sufficient
to tell Guest that he was recognized. Ko knew who he was, and
what. And Guest remembered a terrible day on which that very demon
had seized his brother Eljuk, had torn away his clothes, had -
        Remembering, Guest realized he could not trust Ko for so much
as half an eyeblink. Courtesy was not the custom of demons, which
meant that this demon meant to seize him and tear him.
        Guest had a rough and ready idea of the demon's reach. It
could extrude quick-striking tentacles, smash him and mash him,
grip him and clutch him, drag him in and slaughter him. Or hold
him prisoner - as Eljuk had been held. Eljuk had eventually been
released. But would Guest be so lucky? Somehow, he doubted it.
        Guest glanced back at the arch of the Door. He was half-
minded to open it, then make his retreat, leaving the star-globe
in Chi'ash-lan. But if his father still ruled on Alozay, then -
        "Come to me," said Ko, softly. "Come to me. It's perfectly
safe."
        Guest looked back to the demon, which saw his hesitation, his
fear, his intense suspicion. In response, it laughed.
        "Now you see," said Ko, with a sudden change of tone. "Now
you realize. There is no way out."
        Then the demon laughed again, with brutal frankness.
        But -
        The thing's laughter was so frank that Guest thought it to be
too frank. One could trust a demon in nothing. The brutality of
the laughter was so theatrically overstated, so brilliantly
triumphant, that Guest was immediately sure that the demon must be
trying to distract his attention from something.
        But what?
        Guest remembered Sken-Pitilkin's performance on the day of
the battle for the mainrock Pinnacle. Sken-Pitilkin had levitated
above the demon Icaria Scaria Iva-Italis, taking advantage of the
headroom between the demon and the roof. There was just as much
headroom between the demon Ko and the ceiling of the doorway it
guarded.
        While Guest was still deliberating, he heard footsteps
approaching. He had no sword, hence did not even momentarily think
of fighting his way out of difficulty. Rather, he turned the ring
on his finger - and was promptly sucked into the yellow bottle.
        It was the work of moments for Guest to retrieve Sken-
Pitilkin from the yellow bottle, but unfortunately such was his
haste that he accidentally retrieved Shabble as well.
        As Guest and Sken-Pitilkin emerged from the yellow bottle,
sweeping out as so much smoke, and solidifying to their proper
forms instants later, Shabble swept and solidified likewise.
True, Shabble was still secured in a net of silver - but the
bubble was free!
        "Where are we?" said Sken-Pitilkin.
        The yells of a dozen Zenjingu fighters instantly gave him the
answer to that question.
        Sken-Pitilkin could not for the life of him work out how he
had been abruptly transported from the Shackle Mountains to the
Morgrim Bank, but the sight of the black-clad Zenjingu, combined
with the sight of the demon Ko and the skeletons which dangled
from the ceiling, orientated him instantly.
        As the Zenjingu charged around the flanks of the demon Ko,
Sken-Pitilkin threw up his hands and cried out a Word.
        The Zenjingu were scattered in all directions, seized by
levitational energies and smashed against walls and against
skeletons.
        "Into the bottle!" said Sken-Pitilkin. "In, and I'll have us
out of here in instants!"
        Then Guest made a grab for the silver rope which was trailing
from the silver net which secured Shabble. But he missed, and
Shabble promptly drifted out of reach.
        "This is no time for bubble-hunting!" said Sken-Pitilkin.
"Get in the bottle! And stay there!"
        With that, Guest turned the ring on his finger, and was again
transported into the yellow bottle, thus leaving the
responsibilities of initiative to Sken-Pitilkin.
        Then Sken-Pitilkin exerted his Power and levitated himself,
endeavoring to preserve a grave dignity as he did so. But it is
an unfortunate fact that this business of levitation tends to be
singularly ridiculous, particularly when one is wearing
fisherman's skirts as Sken-Pitilkin was. For, while the skirt is a
most practical form of dress, it is most definitely not one which
is meant to be viewed from below.
        Carrying the yellow bottle, Sken-Pitilkin drifted with due
deliberation above the demon Ko, thus making his escape from the
room which held the Door of the Morgrim Bank. Shabble confidently
tried to follow. But the bubble of bounce had forgotten that it
was trailing a rope of silver - and this the demon caught!
        On hearing a wail of distress from Shabble, Sken-Pitilkin
turned to see the demon dragging Shabble closer and closer toward
its own cold green substance.
        Then Sken-Pitilkin paid no more heed to Shabble, for he had
other problems to worry about.
        Need we give here an account of the manner in which Sken-
Pitilkin fought his way free from the Morgrim Bank? Need we
mention the arrows which were fired at him, and the supreme skill
which he demonstrated in coping with their onslaught? Of course we
need not! For it may be taken for granted that any wizard of the
order of Skatzabratzumon is more than a match for a rabble of
Zenjingu fighters. And, further, it would be injurious to Sken-
Pitilkin's dignity to suggest that he had (or has) any need for
history to take account of the splendidly satisfying manner in
which he crunched bones, shattered flesh, and sent the bravest
running in all directions in bawling terror.
        Let it then merely be recorded that Sken-Pitilkin escaped
from the Morgrim Bank, which is set in the approximate center of
the city of Chi'ash-lan, and he was levitating toward the
outskirts of the city when -
        When a cloud formed in the air close at hand.
        Sken-Pitilkin had barely time sufficient to gape at the cloud
before it configured itself as a Yarglat barbarian. Judging from
the bigness of his ears, that barbarian was Guest Gulkan. And, on
this occasion, the bigness of his ears was matched by the bigness
of his mouth. For, when Guest emerged from the bottle to find
himself poised in mid-air above the city, his jaw dropped in
outright horror.
        "The ring!" bawled Sken-Pitilkin.
        But it was too late.
        Guest was already falling, and by the time he had wit
sufficient to turn the ring on his finger, he was too far removed
from the yellow bottle for the ring to compel him within it. Thus
he fell, with Sken-Pitilkin - his own power nearly exhausted by
battle and flight - helpless to save him.
        Guest did not fall far.
        After all, Sken-Pitilkin was no seagull, hence had not soared
to any great height. Rather, he had been levitating - and not
without difficulty, for it is a business far more tricky than it
may appear to the uninitiated, this fine art of levitation - about
four storeys above the ground. Guest fell but three storeys before
his fall was intercepted by a roof. He crashed through the roof
and disappeared from sight.
        In the face of this disaster, Sken-Pitilkin did not have to
make any fine ethical calculations. The best he could do was to
ensure his own survival, so that was what he did. He got himself
to the outskirts of the city, landed, and took to his heels and
fled.
        Need we give here an account of Sken-Pitilkin's escape? No,
surely not. For it was only Zenjingu fighters who were pursuing
him, and any fieldsman who cannot elude five thousand of the
Zenjingu or more is not worthy of his bootleather.
        While Sken-Pitilkin was a wizard, he was other things as
well. Amongst other things, he was a fisherman. He had not adopted
a fisherman's skirts as his customary attire by random choice! No,
he had studied the Art of Arts for generations, and from its study
he had learnt his fieldcraft thoroughly.
        Thus Sken-Pitilkin was able to elude the Zenjingu, and get
himself away from Chi'ash-lan - and, eventually, to improvise a
stickbird of sorts and go limping back to the island of Drum.
        A fine predicament, this!
        For Sken-Pitilkin was still in possession of the yellow
bottle, which he took with him all the way to his home island of
Drum, but he did not have the ring which allowed one to enter or
leave that bottle. The sole ring to command that bottle was in
Guest Gulkan's possession, and, for all the wizard knew, Guest
might well be dead.
        Well.
        We all have to die sometime.
        But the truly tragic part was that Thayer Levant, Guest's
long-serving, long-suffering and totally unappreciated servant,
was trapped in the yellow bottle, unable to get out through his
own exertions, and with Sken-Pitilkin (for all his undoubted
sagacity) in no position to help him.
        And suppose one to be trapped in a wizard-made bottle, as was
Thayer Levant. What then will one have to drink? And what to eat?
        As a rule, drink is no problem, for wizards take care to
stock such bottles well with water. And food? Well, this yellow
bottle had lately been used as a portable storehouse on a journey
into the Shackle Mountains, so it contained rations sufficient to
feed one person for a few months or so. But supposing those few
months to pass, what then? Why, a prisoner trapped in a wizard-
made bottle and beyond succor by outside forces must necessarily
resort to the siege dust which is so commonly found in such
bottles.
        Of siege dust, it may be said in its favor that it can last
for upwards of five thousand years while still remaining as good
to eat as it was to start with. The problem is that, even to start
with, siege dust is no more palatable than ordinary dust.
        So Thayer Levant was doomed to suffer a cruel and unusual
punishment, for his ordinary food must inevitably run out unless
Guest could make it back to Drum in six months or less.
        But six months passed and there was no sign of Guest. A year
passed, and still there was no sign of Guest. Sken-Pitilkin had
every right to presume to Weaponmaster to be dead - but, not
content with taking such a position, the wizard of Skatzabratzumon
had built a fully serviceable stickbird, and had several times
flown it the full length of the Ravlish Lands in search of the
Weaponmaster.
        However, despite Sken-Pitilkin's exhausting and exhaustive
endeavors on his account, Guest Gulkan had to do it all on his
own. Having survived the fall through a roof - he had after all
fallen a mere three storeys, and what is three storeys to a
stoutly built Yarglat barbarian? - Guest escaped from Chi'ash-lan
and fled east through the Ravlish Lands.
        For a year and a day he fled, with the Zenjingu fighters ever
close on his heels. And, a year and two days after Guest's
intemperate materialization in the skies of Chi'ash-lan, the sea
dragon Hobagamandrik came to Sken-Pitilkin with the news that a
fishing boat had arrived from D'Waith, and that Guest Gulkan was a
passenger on that fishing boat.
        (Two Zenjingu fighters arrived the very next day, and were
shortly thereafter eaten by Sken-Pitilkin's sea dragons, who
pronounced them to be rather stringy, and of a flavor midway
between that of cat and that of pig).
        Thus Guest Gulkan returned to Drum, and was able to use his
ring to liberate Thayer Levant from the yellow bottle. For all
that time, Levant had preserved the star-globe, which Guest had
left behind in the bottle when he had exited to the skies of
Chi'ash-lan. Levant - rightly enraged by a year of imprisonment -
declared that Guest could count himself supremely lucky that the
star-globe had not got itself flushed down one of the vents which
allowed wastes to exit from the yellow bottle.
        In the light of what later happened, it may be seen in
retrospect as being very unfortunate that Guest did not take the
time to address Levant's complaints in depth and in detail, to
soothe him with flattery and to balm him with promises. But
instead, Guest belittled Levant's sufferings, saying they had all
taken place indoors, free from the wind and rain, the wasps and
thorns, the rockburn and sunburn which had bedeviled the
Weaponmaster on his year of flight from Chi'ash-lan.
        Then Guest promptly launched himself into a conference with
Sken-Pitilkin, making plans for returning to Alozay with the star-
globe, and, assuming his father to still be in possession of that
island, using Alozay as a base for a struggle which would surely
seem him end as master of the Circle of the Partnership Banks.


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